Thursday, April 12, 2012

News From the Front: Our War On Women

Just got back from the GOP bunker, where all the planning for the War On Women is taking place.

Lint got a lot of attention. It seems lint gets into certain fabrics and makes clothing unwearable, unless one is willing to display lint. I think lint is less a concern with lower-income brackets, especially for sweat pant wearing women. Which is the beauty of the whole lint attack on women. It's going to target the most prominent, the wealthiest women. Beneficiaries of this attack include male owners of cleaners. "Can you do anything about this lint?" will be on the lips of millions of women across America. And this is just lint.

Wait until you see the body image ads that are going to be coming out over the next several weeks. Thin women with enhanced bosoms and slim waists talking about the lady leading lights of the Democrat party; Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Hillary Clinton, Madeline Albright, to name a few. Pretty lady standing in a split-screen next to a picture of the D ladies. Cut to shots of presenters walking in bikinis on the Nation's Beaches. While talking about access to birth control pills, abortifacients and abortion. And pointing out how silly it is for women like Wasserman-Schultz, Clinton and Albright to worry about birth control. Carrying coal to Newcastle, and all that.

As we advance the Republican War on Women, it's important that we never lose sight of the Democrat Defense of Women. When the opening shots in the War on Women were fired, all of us were operating under the belief that our Shock and Awe Campaign would allow us to completely destroy women in days, if not weeks. I don't think we knew how credible a response to our War on Women would be generated by Democrats and the Media.

When our plans to outlaw birth control were lost to the enemy--due to Swedish hackers--George Stephanopoulos was able to grill one of our presidential candidates (Mitt Romney) on the details of those plans. Wow. Never saw that coming. We were sure that we could wait until after the election to outlaw birth control, restore our missile defense plans and pick a war with Russia. We just didn't want to talk about before the election. Can you say "Wiki-leak?"

Then, the Fluke Disaster.

There have been changes that have taken place inside the Republican War on Women Bunker. Who thought a woman in an elite law academy could give testimony to her wanton sexual proclivities, and with a straight face ask a Nation to pay for her life-style choices? Heads had to roll. We needed new leaders, and for awhile, it seemed that a Romney-Santorum-Gingrich Axis had been formed to re-ignite our War on Women. Especially Santorum. Wow. Who coulda thought that a Catholic with conviction could raise such dust?

Worse, that this Fluke woman would choose to attend a Catholic University, and demand abortifacients and birth control pills? On par with a woman attending Hebrew University demanding bacon on her cheese burgers. This total lack of intellectual honesty wasn't well understood in the old WOW Bunker. That religious institutions would have beliefs that were contrary to the well-understood mantra of the Women was one of our most prized weapons in our war. (Once you enter the Bunker you're issued a blanket of religious beliefs which you must wrap around you. And you can't go anywhere, even the bathroom, without being wrapped in your blanket.)

And now, there is gloom in the Republican Bunker for the War on Women. Little did we know that the President could simply cross-out the First Amendment and end religious institutions' freedom, and simply require the adoption of the policies of their government. Losing the First Amendment was an unforeseen loss. All the action for years were centered around Second Amendment concerns. And recent Supreme Court decisions recognizing the rights of Americans to own guns may have distracted us from the simple expediency of a President simply crossing certain rights off the list.

So, there have been set-backs in our War on Women. The failure of our Shock and Awe Campaign has been disappointing, to say the least. We had hoped that by this time in the current election cycle, that millions of women would have disappeared from the Nation's workplaces. Under the motto of "Bare-foot and Pregnant," millions of women would find themselves in their kitchens, rustlin' up some pots and pans. Demand for plastic surgeries would lead to an expansion in health care training colleges, as the Stepford Rules were adopted by state legislatures across the country, sparking economic recovery. So far, fewer than a million women have found themselves displaced from the workplace. Another unexpected defeat for the Republican War on Women.

I suggested a change in our war plans. Instead of relying upon a Trickle Down War, what we needed was a campaign from the Grass Roots. Guerrilla warfare, as it were. Sadly, it seems, we have been the victim of a preemptive strike, again, from the Defenders of Women. And their grass-roots campaign.

Paid for and organized by labour unions.

Remember, the spontaneous creation of the Tea Party Movement--sparked by a comment from Rick Santelli.

Clear simple exposition on the state of the mortgage crisis. "You can't buy your way into prosperity." Radical stuff. The Declaration of War on Women. (Yes, you can find Rick in the Bunker, occasionally. His rank is Field Marshall.)

Contrast this spontaneous rise, which Speaker Pelosi referred to as "astroturf," with the Grass Roots Efforts of the American Federation of Government Employees:


On April 28, 2012, the grassroots movement Unite Against the War on Women will manifest itself on the steps of the Capitol in Salem, Oregon. Unite’s mission is to protect and advance women's rights at all levels and across our lifespan. These priority areas include women’s reproductive rights; women's economic equality and workers’ rights; protecting women and children from violence & abuse; voting rights; and women’s wellness, health and safety.

What: Rally on the steps of the Capitol, Salem Oregon
When: April 28, 2012 from 10:00 am to 1:00 pm
Where: 900 Court St, NE – Salem, OR 97301

These speakers stand in solidarity with Unite Against the War on Women: Oregon Secretary of State Kate Brown; DHS Director of Community Engagement and Retired Oregon State Senator Margaret Carter; Indian Law Coordinator at Lewis and Clark College, Board Chairperson and Community Outreach coordinator of Red Lodge Transition Services Board Member Carma Corcoran Tribal membership Chippewa-Cree; Oregon AFL-CIO President Tom Chamberlain; National Director of Legal Technical Assistance & Training at Victim Rights Law Center and Adjunct Professor at Lewis & Clark Law School, National Sexual Violence Resource Center Advisory Council Jessica Mindlin; Retired Judge Ellen Rosenblum; American Federation of Government Employees District 11 National Vice President Gerald Swanke; Publisher-Owner of El Hispanic News and PQ Monthly Melanie Davis; Portland Executive Director of Jobs with Justice Margaret Butler;  TransActive Executive Director Jenn Burleton;  Portland City Council Member Amanda Fritz, and many more… There will also be performances by local artists, The Raging Grannies of Portland, the Raging Grannies of Corvallis, a Patchwork Family, The Marissa Mission, and Kendra Moon, to name a few!

Unite is a nonpartisan organization that works to inform and educate others, to increase women's participation in the political and legislative process using tools like Get Out The Vote, to ensure that women's voices are represented in legislative and policy-making roles, and to cultivate an intergenerational network of women in communities to identify and share global concerns with others. Unite strongly supports diversity and welcomes women and men of all ages without regard to their race, color, creed, political affiliation, disability, religious or spiritual beliefs, sexual orientation, education or income level, or marital, employment, or immigrant status.

Press interested in attending should RSVP to Keri Driver at or 503-853-9471

Please contact: Amanda Schroeder,
Oregon State Lead Organizer – Unite Against the War on Women 202-258-9009

Talk about "astroturf."

I gotta head back to the Bunker. The Republican War on Women continues, but it's looking more and more like Stalingrad. We need to re-think our strategic goals. How can we better attack women in order to win our war? If you have any ideas you'd like to have advanced in the Bunker, leave them in the comments. Unless we all share in the struggle to win this war, chances are we're going to lose.


innominatus said...


We should get our spokesperson to suggest that Stay-at-Home Moms have never worked a day in their life. 'Course that's pretty much the equivalent of going nuclear, but I'm OK with that.

MAX Redline said...

Hey, it's working out great: Mittens has a new bumper-sticker out already - MOMS drive the economy.

g said...

+1 Max! lol